Stillness

"Mauve Angel of Stillness" oil on canvas board, 18"x24"

 I was raised to choose a career and then stay with it to become financially secure.  First the schooling and then the profession.

  

My children are grown and I have three grandchildren.  As I look at my life I see that I've done just what my parents trained me to do and I finally burned out 18 months ago.  The stress came from believing as a psychotherapist with a Ph.D., that I could be the rescuer, not only conditioning from my parents but from the arrogance in post-secondary systems as well.

  

Man's search for meaning is a topic published by Viktor Frankl and Rollo May.  Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and May an existential psychologist.  My search for meaning has come about slowly in a conscious way since I was in my late 30s initially identifying myself with the violence in my childhood until forgiveness and the desire to understand shifted the shape of everything. The stone angel is the meeting of those complements in life, the stone and the fluid movement of the flight of an angel.  Somehow, the truth is in the between place of hatred and forgiveness.  It is that place where I call on the supernatural to help me, the place where I recognize that forgiveness comes from the Divine power of the Creator and I simply need to turn my will toward that place.  And then the stillness comes.