TO WAIT

WAITING I  Mixed Media on 10×8 compressed paper board
WAITING II  Mixed Media on 10×8 compressed paper board
WAITING III  Mixed Media on 10×8 compressed paper board

Meditation has many benefits and one of them is training the mind and heart to listen deeply to self-talk without engaging, simply observing without judgement.  To observe without judgement is to prepare one to go into the uncomfortable for the sake of observation.  From observation one can come to awareness and with awareness, compassion and with compassion, understanding.  When we understand, we have the potential of seeing and seeing with clarity.  
Waiting has been a time of great discomfort, a time to distract oneself from the awkwardness of waiting.  
Going into waiting is going into the discomfort.  
Waiting takes one back to childhood.  Watching mother pace the floors as she waits for father to come home and it is late in the evening.  As a child, you know he will not return home for dinner, that it will be late when he finally finds his way to the front door.  Always coming and going from the front door.  Waiting proved to be a time of disappointment, of pain, of shame and of loneliness that brings layers of sadness.  And as one continues to observe the scene there is a faint impression that this is the past.  This is memory and memory is not the present.  Discomfort in waiting today does not include the past.  It is simply memory.  The pain of both parents.  And so a new reality is created.  Accepting the past and experiencing gratitude for a man and woman who struggled to find their way out of suffering.  Gratitude for the present moment where to wait is to wait for goodness to unfold, to ripen like a berry in the summer sunshine.  Disappointment in the future?  Possibly.  But not today.  Not today as one practices being present in this very moment.

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