I’m together with two of my five siblings. Last night I had this amazing experience.
Sometimes when they shear sheep, it looks as though they have skinned it because the wool of the animal stays together and holds the shape of the sheep. The wool is a cast or a mold that shows you the contour of the animal it came from.
That’s what it was like for me last night. My sister had told me last year that my siblings saw me as a taker and an angry person. Growing up with alcoholism and incest will twist who you really are into something that you’re not. And try to get out of that shape is impossible without wisdom and love.
Last night I could see the old me in different situations and in different rooms of her house. There was the shed layer of anger in the kitchen, resentment left in the dining room, fear left on the living room floor, judgement of another, competition with my sister, arrogance and pride all old layers of myself…
It was land-based ceremony that brought me to the place of turning my will and life over to the care of God. I put my belongings into storage except for a pick-up truck load of art supplies and other gear. There have been many lessons of learning to listen, being patient and accepting myself and being kind to myself–learning what self love means. And healing relationships with willing siblings (a miracle in and of itself for which I am SO grateful). You know how it can be?
Sometimes you can be in flight and you just don’t know that you’re in flight!
My employment has been without financial rewards but the spiritual benefits are immeasurable.
|Tsimshian Chief’s Headpiece: Flying Frog|