MY SOUL IS ESCAPED
PATRICIA J VICKERS
Expression of life experiences is realized through many different actions and mediums. Articulating internal experiences in a way that does not judge, blame or criticize the other encourages further inquiry, reflection and action. The intention of this exhibition is to invite social engagement that does not dehumanize another–even though incest is an act of dehumanization.
I spent the majority of my life attempting to understand my father and the concept that dehumanization begets dehumanization.
Dissociative Amnesia was an involuntary, protective way to wrap myself in a restrictive reality. It was when a family member disclosed a past event that I discovered my mind had no access to the shared experience — I then became aware of my forgetful state. Since 2006, when I discovered I had dissociative amnesia, I went through phases of denial:
I don’t want to know anymore;
what you don’t know can’t hurt you;
it isn’t necessary to know to heal
Having experienced my nervous system crashing once and on the verge of a second collapse, I sought help through two colleagues who combined LENS (Low Energy Neurofeedback System) therapy with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and psychotherapy. Dr. Ulrich Lanius and Dr. Stephen Milstein were my companions as memory was recovered over a period of three challenging months. Unable to find words to document the healing process, I painted.
The exhibition is dedicated to Ian Roderick Beaton, now deceased. He is the father of my four children and my companion at the beginning of my intentional healing journey in 1989. May the documentation be medicine to your soul.